Girl of the 90s

…Maybe we were never really cool at all.

Red Flags of the Young MK&A Twins

When we look back at all the warning signs, we really should have seen it coming…

1987: In order to comply with child labor laws, both of the Olsen twins were casted as Michelle Tanner in Full House at 9 months old.  Imagine being able to afford the whole Beanie Baby collection and not having time to play with it all.

1993: During their second feature film “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble,” the young girls naively walk off with a stranger that leads them into the woods.

1998: Envision, at 10-years-old, the seniors at school starting to talk about your father figure appearing in their favorite stoner series as a cocaine addict.  Bob Saget guest-stars on Half Baked.

2000:  Not only do the tweens release their mary-kateandashley makeup line at only 13-years-old, but they promote trespassing onto private property in their movie “Passport to Paris.”

2001: MK&A’s birthday announcement includes Rubik’s cube dresses that flatter the twins’ figure with high boots and midriffs.

Olsen Twins Tummy Photo

2002:  A lifestyle piece posted to the “Fitness” section of the twins’ website suggests doing exercises in the bathtub.
“Stay clean and fit at the same time.  If you are on a hectic schedule and can’t seem to find anytime to exercise, this is a sure way to stay fit!  When you take a bath, try some simple exercises while you are relaxing in the tub.  Put your hands behind your head and do some stomach crunches. Also, you can do simple leg lifts for tone.  See what works for you.”

2005: At 18-years-old, the twins risk the felony charge of grand theft auto in their movie “New York Minute” by hopping into a taxi and driving it around the city.

2006: The Olsen twins pitch their clothing line geared at girls 4-12 to Wal-Mart.  I’m not sure what was less becoming of the matter: the fact that it was pitched to Wal-Mart or that the line included an assortment of tube tops and rhinestone studded jean skirts.

2008: Mary-Kate guest stars in the TV series “Weeds.”

2012: PETA attacks “Trollsens” after spotting an addition to their clothing line made from animal fur.  The bags, priced at $16,000 each, continued to be sold and gifted from the twins to other celebrities. “If it looks like a troll and acts like a troll, it’s probably a Trollsen Twin,” said PETA.

Did the lovable childhood stars swiftly shove all the dust under rug before anyone could see past their adorable twin smiles?  The truth is, we were all fooled.  As we enter into the twenty-first century, we can’t stop the ball rolling for MK&A… but we can certainly keep a close eye on the twins of the new millennium.

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This entry was posted on September 9, 2013 by and tagged , , , .
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