Girl of the 90s

…Maybe we were never really cool at all.

Pointless Toys of the 90s

What if the countless hours we spent playing in our rooms after school were completely wasted?  As a twenty-one year old college student, I would rather be slumbering at slumber parties than staying up all night playing with the toys I begged my grandparents for back then.  Of course, I’m twenty-one, but think about it.  Were we “having fun” only because the joy these toys gave us was all we ever really knew of fun, anyway?

For example: Shrinky Dinks.  You wasted hours away coloring on little sheets of polystyrene plastic with your choice of crayons or colored pencils.  You then spent ten minutes cutting your shape out perfectly with a pair of blunt-tip Fiskars scissors, perfecting each corner to avoid sharp snags on your finished product. You wait 25 minutes for your Easy Bake Oven to preheat and soon enough you were ready to place your soon-to-be charm on the baking tray.  If you’re anything like me, you spent the next fifteen minutes icing the burn on your finger from inserting the tray while you waited for your Shrinky Dinks to mold.  Finally, with much anticipation, you slide the tray out to display your new addition to your pointless collection of Dinks.  If you were smart, you cut a hole to slide it onto your key chain ring, but even if that was the case, what did 10-year-old you do with a key ring?  Fail.

Still not convinced?  What about your old collection of water snake toys?


You know what I mean.  You slide it on your finger and then what?

On that note, how long could you cast and catch your YoYo Ball before wanting to set it down?  You know those were a cop-out anyway.

I hate to admit it but during my doll-phase, I spent hours with my Magic Potty Baby.  Now, not only was it pointless, but it’s just gross.  If you were old enough to feed a plastic baby water from a tiny bottle, you were past the potty training stage.  What are you doing playing with a peeing baby doll?

Depending on how technologically embracive your parents were while you were growing up, you either had your own “real” or battery-operated pet.  This pet, none-the-less was pointless, too.  Take the Tamagotchi, for example.  After being banned in most schools, you couldn’t feed it at recess so instead got to endure the trauma of coming home to yet another LED corpse.  If you were one of the “lucky” ones, you were granted the gift of giving life to sea monkeys.  If you were really lucky, you actually enjoyed squinting into the magnifying glass at your floating specks of absolutely nothing.

Can we even blame Hasbro?  Maybe it’s our own fault.  Still, as a twenty-one year old college student, I wish I had saved my allowance for this semester’s tuition bill.


11 comments on “Pointless Toys of the 90s

  1. bensbitterblog
    September 16, 2013

    Those Tamagotchi’s were such a waste of space.

  2. Aixa Evenson
    September 16, 2013

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. The things our little imaginations could come up with when we were little…scary and fascinating all at the same time ha!

  3. alca103
    September 16, 2013

    This is so cute! and very well written.

  4. jsand10
    September 16, 2013

    As much as I agree, I do have to admit I just did some Shrinky Dinks not too long ago (and thoroughly enjoyed watching them bake). In my defense though, I was sharing this waste of time with cousins who needed something to be occupied with- worked like a charm!

  5. The Best of the Best
    September 16, 2013

    haha I love this and agree with everything. Especially the water snake toys! When you broke one and the gel or water or chemicals, whatever was inside of the things just went everywhere, so much fun….

  6. jdobihal09
    September 16, 2013

    This is so true. So funny to think such simple things could bring us joy and keep us entertained for so long! Great post I like it.

  7. Brett G.
    September 17, 2013

    This reminds me of my childhood. That’s all I really have to say haha.

  8. mwhiting09
    September 18, 2013

    I’m driving 4 hours home because I haven’t fed my Tamegachi in 17 years

  9. LukeB
    September 18, 2013

    I love how true this is. Great Post :)

  10. Andrea Olson
    September 18, 2013

    Interesting topic. It has a great sense of nostalgia.

  11. faithrivada
    October 14, 2013

    haha I still <3 tamagotchi

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